Another Welcome New Recruit to the Order of the Shrill

Joe Gandelman is a professional voice. His schtick on the internet is that of a professional moderate voice, someone who is reasonable, who avoids the excesses of partisanship, who takes a deep breath and realizes that there are two sides to every story and that we need to be... calm, reasonable, and thoughtful always.

He reads Peggy Noonan.

His brain explodes.

Now he is one of us! Embrace your destiny! Feel the power of Shrillness!

Welcome to the Ancient and Hermetic Order of the Shrill, Mr. Gandelman--those of us who have been driven into shrill unholy madness by the mendacity, stupidity, incompetence, recklessness, and idiocy of the Bush administration and its allies. Your personal copy of the Krugmanomicon (along with additional promotional material containing many valuable offers) is on its way. Do not read more than ten pages a day, under pain of falling even further into shrill unholy madness. Your rank is Palaeozoic Tentacled Swamp-Dweller, 2nd Class. When in your non-human form, remember not to devour any endangered amphibians. Pray vainly to the dead, uncaring stars at least once a month, preferably when the moon is in the second decant.

Clear the weekend of July 37 for the annual Miskatonic University summer conference, barbecue (don't ask), and wine-tasting. Driving directions to picturesque Arkham, Massachusetts will follow. A side-trip to Tanglewood for the concerts is recommended, but beware Shoggoths on the road near South Campus at moonrise. And remember: Yog-Sothoth is the Gatekeeper!

Joe Gandelman: Peggy Noonan's latest Wall Street Journal column reads as if it's a satire piece— but, no, folks it is 100 percent for real. It's truly hard to believe it is. Before we even discuss it we MUST say a few things:

1. This is the last column of her's we'll read. We already subscribe to Mad Magazine and although her writing is a bit funnier, we get more variety in Mad. And we suspect if the column below was submitted as a satire, Mad would reject it for being too off-the-wall. The Onion? Her column isn't quite cutting edge enough.
2. In all seriousness, her newest column echoes the bitter, angry, attack-mode words of former Nixon speechwriter Ben Stein and overall near-hysteria on the part of far right conservatives, Watergate-era officials and talk show hosts who are using the revelation of key source Deep Throat as a chance to rebattle Nixon's impeachment, argue it was all liberal plot, a media plot and suggest that the REAL villains weren't the people in the administration abusing the American people's trust by misusing the government and lying (the word is ACCURATE here because the tapes proved it) but those who dared to bring Nixon down. These GOPers convieniently forget the Republican PATRIOTS such as Barry Goldwater who let Nixon know it was time to go.

...Here are a few excerpts for the latest attack on the 91-year-old former second in command at the FBI who we now know was Deep Throat:

Was Mr. Felt a hero? No one wants to be hard on an ailing 91-year-old man. We're SURE, Ms. Noonan was shedding tears as she began to start her part of the parade of GOPers seeking the equivilent of revenge on Felt for his role in the Watergate stories. MORE:

Mr. Felt no doubt operated in some perceived jeopardy and judged himself brave.

No, Ms. Noonan: MILLIONS of Americans even today consider him brave. That includes many in the Republican party who, to judging by our emails, are aghast at the spectacle of fellow GOPers going after Felt and defending Nixon's Watergate behavior. It's GOP hacks — those who put loyaly to their party and to one man before the country's sacred democracy — who are out there using every argument possible to go after Felt and try to polish up the buried corpse of Nixon...

He had every right to disapprove of and wish to stop what he saw as new moves to politicize the FBI. But a hero would have come forward, resigned his position, declared his reasons, and exposed himself to public scrutiny. He would have taken the blows and the kudos. (Knowing both Nixon and the media, there would have been plenty of both.) Heroes pay the price. Mr. Felt simply leaked information gained from his position in government to damage those who were doing what he didn't want done. Then he retired with a government pension. This does not appear to have been heroism, and he appears to have known it. Thus, perhaps, the great silence.

A hero who was President... wouldn't have put the country through the agony that Nixon put the US through — until patriotic Democrats and REPUBLICANS had to march into his office to his office to tell him there was no hope due to the "smoking gun" tapes that had just come out.... Doesn't she and Stein realize what they're saying? Republican Gerald Ford REPLACED Nixon. So she and Stein are suggesting Ford was incompetent. Henry Kissinger was Secretary of State under Ford. She she's suggesting Kissinger was an incompetent. The fallacy of this argument is so stupifying it defies description.... The GOP has many thoughtful people, who cooly make their party's arguments with logic. Noonan, Stein and Buchanan, in particular, now deserve a room on Mars with Dennis Kucinich and Alan Keyes. They are entertaining but truly not to be taken seriously as thinkers or analyists anymore. They have become self-parodies.

But HERE is where Noonan has made yours truly decide pass on reading anything she writes in the future (of course, she may threaten to stop reading The Moderate Voice, but we will press on with life somehow):

Were there heroes of Watergate? Surely many unknown ones, those who did their best to be constructive and not destructive, those who didn't think it was all about their beautiful careers. I'll give you a candidate for great man of the era: Chuck Colson. Colson functioned in the Nixon White House as a genuinely bad man, went to prison and emerged a genuinely good man. He told the truth about himself in "Born Again," a book not fully appreciated as the great Washington classic it is, and has devoted his life to helping prisoners and their families. He paid the price, told the truth, blamed no one but himself, and turned his shame into something helpful. Children aren't dead because of him. There are children who are alive because of him.

So COLSON is the hero [of Watergate]. Note that Colson went to prison FIRST and was born again, wrote a book, etc. Colson didn't do anything in the White House to come forward with what he knew. Nor did he do anything to halt the unfolding scandal. Nor did he march into Nixon's office and tell him the proper thing was to resign.... [Colson] is a Republican, worked for Nixon and isn't a liberal. He is on Noonan's "team" while Felt was working against her "team."

Do THINKING conservatives realize how badly this makes people in their camp look?.... Hero? Maybe Felt wasn't perfect. But, no, Peggy and Ben, don't blame Felt for genocide, since Ford and Kissinger WERE THE ONES running foreign policy when Nixon resigned.... No matter what charges you throw at this 91-year-old man, he proved more of a patriot in the Watergate era than the people who were abusing government power, lying to Congress and in front of television cameras and who eventually had to go to jail because they were CONVICTED of crimes — or who didn't go to jail because they were pardoned...

Ph'nglui Mglw'nafh Gandelman R'lyeh Wagn'nagl Fhtagn!! Ganelman Fhtagn!! Gandelman Fhtagn!!

Comments

[kharris]

In the same way that NewsWeek is to blame for all Muslim anger against the US (ignore all the press reports outside the US of similar actions - the White House needed to make an example of NewsWeek because NewsWeek was off the reservation, reporting a story the White House didn't want reported), Felt is to blame for all bad things that happened in Vietnam after Nixon left the White House. Every other circumstance tending toward a bad outcome needed Felt's actions to set them in motion. What crap.

[pgl]

Actually, I voted for Carter in 1976 precisely because I thought Gerald Ford was less than competent. But by the time Ford became President, Cambodia was already lost to the Khmer Rogue. Noonan knows this - so Gandelman was quite gentle towards this Stein-Noonan canard.

[A. Zarkov]

“... he [Felt] proved more of a patriot in the Watergate era than the people who were abusing government power, lying to Congress and in front of television cameras and who eventually had to go to jail ...]

Let’s not get too carried away over Felt. Thanks to Epstein we learn that Felt too abused his power and went to jail for it.

“Prior to Watergate, Felt had authorized a number of highly-secret FBI operations, including warrentless and illegal break-ins into the homes of relatives of political radicals (for which he in 1980 was convicted in Federal court of "unlawfully, willfully, and knowingly combine, conspire, confederate, and agree together and with each other to injure and oppress citizens.")”

”... Felt, and other FBI officials who had authorized their own illegal black bag jobs, had a motive in controlling the press reaction. In addition, Nixon's appointment of L. Patrick Gray to succeed Hoover as FBI director had set off a brutal power struggle. So Felt's efforts to steer Woodward, Bernstein and other journalist may be a relevant part of the event.”

No does it appear that Felt was the only source of information to the press. The idea that the true “Deep Throat” was really a composite still has much to recommend it.

“According to a recent disclosure by another former FBI executive, Paul V. Daly, at least 3 other FBI officers were involved with Felt in this clandestine effort, all falling under the portmanteau cover of Deep Throat. If so, the Machiavellian operation was effectively obscured by Woodward's Deep Throat package ...”

Edward J. Epstein “Clearing Deep Throat” http://edjayepstein.blogspot.com/2005/06/clearing-deep-throat.html

Of course Felt’s own transgressions in no way justifies, excuses, or mitigates the dreadful activities of Nixon and any of his cronies. This is not historical revisionism, or character assassination designed to deter future whistle blowers. Felt has chosen to go public, and the public deserves to have the most complete and accurate picture of what happened.

[Matthew Saroff]

Where do we get a copy of the Krugmanomicon?

I want one.

Also, regarding the barbecue, will kosher food be available? I know that you said not to ask, but AIEEeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

gurgle

splat

[Barry]

And it's Zarkov, as usual.

[Jonathan Goldberg]

The WSJ gives editorial space to Peggy Noonan?! I knew there was a reason I haven't read it (the editorial page, not the newspaper) for several decades. Now I know what that reason was.

[howard]

Actually, A. Zarkov, i'm pretty sure Felt didn't "go to jail;" he was iirc pardoned by reagan.

as for edward jay epstein - he's had his moments both ways in the past (accurate and inaccurate) and i'm not sure that his supposition of a multi-headed FBI Deep Throat should be given too much credence - yet.

beyond, who knows? i actually can't disagree that it is always worth knowing the facts....

[mdh]

Yummm, Cthulu burgers...;>

[delecti]

the rightwing's ability to stay on message through revisionist opportunities like this one is truly stupifying...notice: whenever a historical event comes to light in the MSM the right's lackeys come out of the wordwork...with special favors paid later (or they're on the payroll already). It's Pravda-like for sure but is it more brown nose or bown shirt?

[liberal]

Barry wrote, "And it's Zarkov, as usual."

Huh? Except for Howard's point (I haven't seen any evidence that Felt actually was jailed, or even indicted, for his crimes), Zarkov is completely right (for once).

It appears that Felt was a major figure in COINTELPRO. As such, he was a criminal, of a rather despicable sort. (I do agree with Zarkov's concluding paragraph, of course.)

[ken melvin]

Hate to see the man try quitting cold turkey. First step could be the Chron's Debra Saunders.

[pinson]

Oh no! Brad's blogging in tongues! The Nooner's sent him right round the bend.

[A. Zarkov]

liberal:

“(I haven't seen any evidence that Felt actually was jailed, or even indicted, for his crimes)”

Look up Felt in wikipedia:

“After eight postponements, the case against Felt and Miller went to trial in the United States District Court for the District of Columbia on September 18, 1980. On October 29, 1980, ... “

“The jury returned guilty verdicts on November 6, 1980.

Reagan did indeed pardon Felt:

“Pursuant to the grant of authority in article II, section 2 of the Constitution of the United States, I have granted full and unconditional pardons to W. Mark Felt and Edward S. Miller.”

liberal:

“Zarkov is completely right ...”

Yes and liberal is right (for once).

I should not have said Felt went to jail, teaching me yet again not to do things in hurry. (I was on my way to pick up my pet cat from the vet.)

[iggy]

I believe Dennis Miller referred to Colson as to one of the first guys to "found God in the back of a police car".

[Tom Hilton]

Here's the thing you have to understand: Watergate is for Republicans what the Civil War was for white southerners. They see themselves of the victims of a great injustice, from which spring hundreds of smaller wrongs...and worst of all, everybody else thinks the good guys won. This sort of emotional injury leads to all sorts of malignant pathologies; in the case of the South, it was the brutal retaliation toward black people, sustained for a hundred years; in the case of Republicans, it has made them mean, bitter, and utterly unscrupulous. (After all, the media and the liberal elite cheated in order to take down Nixon--so aren't they perfectly justified in cheating to defeat liberals?) The War Against Clinton, from its humble beginnings in 1991 to the apocalyptic battle of Florida in 2000, has its roots in Republican resentment at Watergate. More importantly, even though movement 'conservatives' have a death grip on all three branches of government, the cult of conservative victimization lives on--still bitter, still resentful, still without scruple.

[ral]

Professor DeLong, I'm shocked. One is driven to shrill, unholy madness by the incompetence, malevolence, mendacity, and sheer disconnection from reality of the Bush administration. You omitted "malevolence."

[dsquared]

I have no understanding of why everyone is so worked up about whether Felt was a "hero" or not. I would hope that the defence of democracy against corrupt politicians, like every other civil service task, is not dependent on heroes to ensure that it is done.

[Brian C.B.]

You know, I think take the dramatic rise in Arkham house prices as a solid sign of a real estate bubble. I mean, $750,000 for a "starter cottage with 3BR, 2B, carport, and inhabitation by ritually-murderous Native American deities at each new moon" seems a bit much, proximity to shopping and schools notwithstanding.

[David W.]

Via the Poor Man:

Kth’rugman!
http://thepoorman.net/wp-images/episode1/episode1-5.jpg

[The Navigator]

To be frank, this excerpt makes me doubt Joe Gandelman's perspicacity:
"Noonan [...and others...] are entertaining but truly not to be taken seriously as thinkers or analyists anymore."

Um, you used to take Peggy Noonan seriously as a thinker or analyst?
When she worshipped Reagan's masculine shoe?
When Elian was rescued by a holy miracle?

I always viewed her as Luskin's intellectual equal.

[Grand Moff Texan]

As a proud parent who uses a Baby Nyarlathotep doll to measure my infant daughter's growing visual acuity, let me just say that this post would have made my day purely by its conceit, but that its content has moved it to the near sublime.
.

[piotr]

A song is needed for the unsung heroes.

Peggy Noonan writes that Chuck Colson worked in WH as a "genuinely bad man". Perhaps she can write it in verse and to the tune of "Stagolee was a bad man". Or one could make a remake of "Stagolee" song. In the new stanzas, Stagolee will start a ministry among the inmates.

[slackerJAX]

Funniest frikkin framing post ever! Thank you, Dr. DeLong, for the Lovecraft love. I can certainly say that the that the otherworldy eldritch economic geometry the Bush administration has used to cast its policy had apparently driven my hapless human mind beyond the bounds of sanity...