A George W. Bush Misadventure...
Fafblog has competition. *Serious* competition. That's all I'm sayin'.
From Defective Yeti:
Iraqi Invasion: A Text Misadventure :
Oval Office
You are standing inside a White House, having just been elected to the presidency of the United States. You knew Scalia would pull through for you. There is a large desk here, along with a few chairs and couches. The presidential seal is in the middle of the room and there is a full-length mirror upon the wall.What do you want to do now?
: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: LOOK MIRROR
Self-reflection is not your strong suit.: PET SEAL
It's not that kind of seal.: EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton's shoes.: FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton's shoes.: EXAMINE DESK
It is a large, oak desk, with several drawers. In one drawer you find a bag of pretzels.: EAT PRETZEL
I don't think the pretzel would agree with you.: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: GO RIGHT
Far-Right
You are on the far right of the political spectrum. Jesse Helms is here. John Ashcroft is here.: GO RIGHT
Radical Right You are on the extreme right of the political spectrum. Dick Cheney is here. Pat Robertson is here.: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: TAKE VACATION
Taken.: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: SCORE
Your favorablity rating is 58% out of a possible 100%.: GO PHOTOOP
Photo Op You are at a the Emma T. Booker Elementary School, along with a gaggle of obsequious members of the mainstream media. There is a book here. There are some children here.: READ BOOK
You read "My Pet Goat." In the distance, terrorists attack the United States.: READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat.": READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat.": READ BOOK
You continue to read "My Pet Goat.": GO HOME
You fly around aimlessly for a while, then return to the White House.Oval Office
: GIVE SPEECH
Who do you want to give the speech to?: AMERICAN PEOPLE
You give the speech to the American people.: DIAGNOSIS
Your favorablity rating is 84% out of a possible 100%.: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: INVADE AFGHANISTAN
Afghanistan You have invaded the nation of Afghanistan, bombing the Taliban nearly out of existence. Osama Bin Laden, mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, is here.: INVADE IRAQ
(Leaving Afghanistan first.) You are not able to do that, yet.: INVADE IRAQ
You are not able to do that, yet.: F---
Such language in a high-class establishment like this!: HYPE THREAT
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.": MONGER FEAR
"Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud ...": MUDDY WATER
"We know that Iraq and the al Qaeda terrorist network share a common enemy -- the United States of America. We know that Iraq and al Qaeda have had high-level contacts that go back a decade. And we know that after September the 11th, Saddam Hussein's regime gleefully celebrated the terrorist attacks on America ...": PUNISH CRITICS
"Wilson never worked for the CIA, but his wife, Valerie Plame, is an Agency operative on weapons of mass destruction ... ": RAILROAD CONGRESS
You schedule a vote on the Iraq invasion for just before the 2002 midterm elections. As usual, spineless democrats roll over like an SUV taking a sharp corner. Your plan to invade Iraq now has the backing of the American people and Congress.: INVADE IRAQ
Baghdad You enter the Iraqi capital of Bagdad, having toppled the government and captured the nation's key cities in only 21 days. You can't seem to find the promised throngs of citizens greeting you as liberators, but the footage of the Saddam statue being pulled down looks great on Fox!: GIVE CONTRACTS
Who do you want to give the contracts to?: HALLIBURTON
What kind of contracts do you wish to give to Halliburton?: NO-BID
You give the no-bid contracts to Halliburton.: STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.: STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged.: WEAR FLIGHTSUIT
You put on the flightsuit.: SAY "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"
"Mission accomplished.": EXAMINE MISSION
The mission is not accomplished.: STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq remains unchanged. Some insurgents arrive.: STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates.: STAY COURSE
The situation in Iraq deteriorates. Some insurgents arrive. There is a small number of insurgents here.
side-splittingly funny. also heartbreakingly accurate.
Posted by: ac | January 21, 2006 at 05:52 PM
A twisty little maze, indeed.
Posted by: Linkmeister | January 21, 2006 at 06:01 PM
The situation in Iraq deteriorates. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Posted by: Patrick Taylor | January 21, 2006 at 06:15 PM
Yeah but Fafblog still has the better peanut gallery.
Posted by: ogmb | January 21, 2006 at 06:27 PM
THAT explains it!
We're on Zork!
(Actually, the dialogue is closer to Planetfall, but that adds complexity to what is, after all, just a yok.)
Posted by: Charles | January 21, 2006 at 07:14 PM
Although, as far as I can tell, the "go left" parts before the re-election never really happened. See Zell Miller.
Posted by: Julian Elson | January 22, 2006 at 05:50 AM
Not bad. Not bad at all.
But not serious competition to Fafblog.
Remember, the Medium Lobster comes from *beyond space and time*! And he's the *least* funny of the three!
I mean, I think Defective Yeti has done good work here. But I'm predicting that Giblets will not be impressed.
Posted by: Tad Brennan | January 22, 2006 at 07:29 AM
I'm laughing so hard tears are rolling down my eyes.
But I imagine you must have played one of the Infocom/Activision games to get the joke here. God bless Infocom for giving me some of the best rainy Saturdays of my childhood.
Posted by: Erika | January 22, 2006 at 02:59 PM
...and laughing till you cry is much better than simply crying.
I'm so happy that it the 'cultural reference' clicked only a few lines in, and then transported me back to late 1970s in the University of Oregon computer lab, a time of Plover eggs and giant not-clams yielding pearls. I seem to remember that lighting a stick of dynamite resolved the game.
Posted by: MaryCh | January 22, 2006 at 11:26 PM
Yeah... Bush is naturaly born cowboy...
Posted by: red bull | May 02, 2006 at 07:21 AM