I think this has all the Aristotelian unities:
Time: Dawn
Place: Ten yards off of our deck
Dramatis personae: Four full-grown fifteen-poound adult male turkeys and one small thirty-pound bobcat
Stage directions: When are scene opens, the turkeys are arranged in a line abreast, facing the bobcat ten yards away.
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
Bobcat: (silence)
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
Bobcat: (silence)
Occasionally one of the turkeys' nerve will break and it will start sidling away from the line, saying: Gobble gobble gobble.
Bobcat: (silence) watches the deviant turkey attentively as the turkey turns its tail and begins walking away...
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
But when the lily-livered turkey gets more than three yards away from its feathered companions, it turns around and returns to the line of battle, thus walking in a roughly ten-foot circle.
Returning Turkey: Gobble gobble gobble.
Bobcat: (silence)
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
Bobcat: (silence)
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
Bobcat: (soliloquy) If only one of them would break away from the flock...
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
Bobcat: (soliloquy) But if I pounced, they might not run. And there are four of them. Four sharp beaks. Eight claws. Thirty-two sharp talons. Eight sharp two-inch bone spurs. If they did not run, I would win--but then I might have disabling wounds which would mean I would have a difficult time hunting in the future. It's risky...
Turkeys: Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE gobble gobble. Gobble! Gobble gobble gobble gobble. Gobble gobble! Gobble gobble gobble GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!1! Gobble gobble gobble!
Bobcat: (soliloquy) Better to find a gopher...
Bobcat sidles off behind the house...
