Sean Carroll and Coauthors Are... Boltzmann's Brain!
Procrastination City!

Battling Apocalypses Department: Mitt the Apostate...

Wonkette directs us to the International Herald Tribune:

Romney puts Mormons in spotlight - International Herald Tribune: Tom Grover, 26, a Mormon who is the host of a weekday talk show on politics on radio station KVNU here, said that while he thinks Romney has handled the scrutiny admirably, some of his callers were incensed about Romney's repudiation of his own ancestors' polygamy. The church outlawed the practice a century ago, but members are taught to understand that polygamy had a theological and historical context in the church, which Romney's remark ignored. "That really left a bad taste in people's mouths," Grover said. "That's a tough thing for people to hear when their ancestors sacrificed a lot to live that life. They probably wouldn't bring polygamy back, but they honor the place of it in church history."

Audrey Godfrey, a historian who has written books with her husband, Kenneth, said of Romney, "If I were one of his relatives, I would be upset with him."

Another case arose when George Stephanopoulos of ABC News asked Romney about a Mormon teaching that Jesus will come to the United States when he returns to reign on earth. Romney responded that the Messiah will return to the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, "the same as the other Christian tradition."

Grover said some of his radio listeners were astounded. "They were just in disbelief, saying, 'That's not true; Jesus is coming back to Missouri,'" Grover said. "It's the LDS Church's 10th article of faith that Zion will be built upon the American continent"...

So vote for Romney if you want Jesus close at hand in Missouri, rather than far off in the Levant.

Or you could go further. Vote for Ahmednijad. If you vote for Ahmednijad, then:

Apocalypse: [W]hen the world has fallen into chaos, and civil war emerges between the human race for no reason... half of the true believers will ride from Yemen carrying white flags to Mecca, while the other half will ride from Karbala... carrying black flags to Mecca.... [Jesus] will reappear carrying a cross of gold and a crown of thorns...

But Jesus will not command this Host of the Lord. The commander will be his good friend and boss: Muhammad ibn Hasan ibn Ali al Mahdi, the Twelfth Imam of the Party of Muhammed's son-in-law Ali:

At this time, Muhammad ibn Hasan ibn Ali al Mahdi will descend from the heavens wielding God's Sword, the Blade of Evil's Bane, Zoulfikar, the Double-Bladed Sword...